


in this world of white noise (you're my favorite sound)

by rekiszn



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It of Sorts, Good Boyfriend Hasegawa Langa, Hurt Kyan Reki, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Insecure Kyan Reki, Kyan Reki Needs a Hug, M/M, Sad Hasegawa Langa, Self-Worth Issues, episode seven made me sad so im here to fix it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:09:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29670510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rekiszn/pseuds/rekiszn
Summary: "i'm still not hungry, mom.""it's langa. i… i think i understand now, reki."
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Comments: 8
Kudos: 328





	in this world of white noise (you're my favorite sound)

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO SK8 FANS EPISODE SEVEN DESTROYED ME SO HERES A FIX IT PLUS ME PROJECTING MY HABITS ONTO REKI BCUZ *LAUGHS IN REKI KINNIE*
> 
> ENJOY !!
> 
> alsooo my twt is enbyelric if u wanna follow me n become bffs !!! ok ill see u guys again at the end !!!

it's been a week.

days have slipped by. langa's been on autopilot, going through his day at school (reki swapped seats with someone. langa tried to pretend it didn't sting.), spending time at home in his room before heading out to s at night, ignoring the worried glances from friends and questions about reki's whereabouts.

reki hadn't shown up to s all week. langa tried to pretend it didn't sting.

skating was getting harder and harder recently. every moment he spent on his board, memories of falling off it flashed through his mind. a laugh. a gentle smile. a hand reaching out to help him up. amber eyes holding adoration and a bit of amusement.

langa kicked his skateboard in frustration. he took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. for a moment, the world came back into focus. the white noise left his ears. for the first time in days, he felt like he was truly hearing the world around him.

_"have you seen snow? he's amazing!"_

_"he seems a bit off his game though, don't you think?"_

_"maybe he's got something on his mind."_

_"think it has something to do with the red head loser who's usually with him?"_

_"yeah, where is that guy?"_

_"who cares! it's not like the guys anything special anyway."_

langa didn't understand. why were they saying these things? he wouldn't be here without reki. he wouldn't have found skateboarding without reki. he wouldn't be as good as he is if reki hadn't known _exactly_ what he needed and tailored his board to fit that.

reki was insanely special. how could they not see that?

reki's comment from that night replayed once again.

_"you crazy geniuses can skate with each other as much as you want."_

_"... i can't keep up."_

_can't keep up,_ langa repeated. _can't keep up with… me?_

it felt like something clicked in langa's head. a realization dawned on him as he considered reki's words, his actions, everything leading up to that night and afterwards.

it made sense.

reki wasn't just mad he wanted to break their promise. that'd be too simple. reki was a mostly rational person, he wouldn't be _this_ upset over the idea of a broken promise.

langa picked up his discarded skateboard and ran, disregarding his friends shouts of his name.

he needed to see reki.

___

langa stumbled to a stop at reki's doorstep, his resting his hands on his knees as he desperately took breaths.

_running all the way here probably wasn't the best idea…_

pushing those thoughts aside, he spent a minute or two catching his breath, before raising his hand to knock.

he paused before his hand could reach the door.

would reki even want to see him? maybe he was already too late to fix things.

had langa potentially lost his best friend, just because he couldn't realize the issue in time?

langa hoped he wasn't too late.

he didn't know if he could handle another loss.

gathering all the courage in his body, he gently knocked on the door. he heard some shuffling inside, before the door swung open, revealing reki's mother.

she looked so tired…

more tired than langa had ever seen her.

guilt poured down from every corner of his mind. this was his fault, wasn't it? the pain he'd put reki through surely had an effect on his mother. this was his fault.

her expression morphed from confusion to relief.

"langa-kun, thank goodness! reki's been in a funk all week and i don't know what to do to help him." langa winced slightly. little did she know that was his fault. "you can help him can't you? he responds much better to you."

langa hoped just as much as her that he could.

"i'll do my best. i'm sorry." her confusion came back.

"what are you sorry for?"

"a lot of things." she didn't seem to fully understand, but she didn't push either, which langa appreciated greatly. she placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

it reminded him of his dad.

she stepped out of the way to let him in. langa thanked her before beginning the familiar trek to reki's room.

he saw reki's siblings peeking their heads out of their rooms, looking between him and reki's bedroom door with pleading eyes.

the guilt came back in tenfold.

maybe he didn't deserve reki's forgiveness.

he shook the thought away. there was no turning back now.

he raised a hand to knock, hesitating once more.

he really hoped he wasn't too late.

he knocked softly, hoping not to startle the boy inside. he heard soft rustling from inside, before a tired voice met his ears.

"i'm still not hungry, mom."

langa wanted to cry.

he'd never heard reki sound so tired. so… defeated. not even on that night.

"it's langa. i… i think i understand now, reki."

if he strained his ears he could hear the sounds of his own voice. his own laugh. reki's laugh, the one he loved dearly.

the one he missed, so so much.

after a moment, reki spoke again.

"... door's unlocked."

langa took that as an invitation.

the first thing he noticed upon entering reki's room was paper. there was paper everywhere, with different things written on it in shaky handwriting. some had what looked to be tear stains on them.

_"he's leaving you behind."_

_"he doesn't need you anymore."_

_"you'll never be good enough."_

_"its unreachable."_

langa looked away from them. he didn't want to read any more of them. they were scattered everywhere throughout the room. some on the floor, some on the bed, some even thumbtacked to his walls.

reki sat on his bed, his hair messy and his eyes lined with red. there were bags under them too, he noticed. reki's phone was in his hands, playing videos he'd taken from when langa was still learning the basics.

what he was doing was clear. he was digging himself into a worse and worse mindset, purposefully. why, langa couldn't fathom. but he'd try to understand.

he had to. not understanding was what landed him here, after all.

he sat on reki's bed, a safe distance away to not cause reki discomfort, but close enough to let him know he was there.

langa would do his best to show him with actions what he couldn't say with words.

"you said you understand," reki muttered. hearing him without the muffling of the door made langa's chest hurt. he didn't want reki to sound so beaten down, and definitely not because of him.

he'd failed to keep his friend safe on multiple occasions. all he could do now was hope to put the pieces back together, and do better.

"yeah," langa replied. "i think i do. even better after seeing you, i think."

there was a moment of silence. langa took a deep breath and continued.

"reki… i'm so sorry. i… i don't know when i started prioritizing skating over you, but…"

"it's okay." reki was looking at his lap. "it was bound to happen."

 _"please_ don't say that," langa pleaded. "it's not okay, and it wasn't bound to happen. it _shouldn't_ have happened, and i'm so sorry it did."

reki fell silent. langa reached out, gently taking hold of his hands. reki finally looked up at him.

langa's chest hurt as those amber eyes, usually filled with excitement and wonder, held nothing but sad acceptance. the fire in his eyes was put out. langa couldn't help but feel he had a hand in it.

"reki… you're so important to me, okay? i… i haven't said it, i didn't think i needed to, but now i know i do. reki, you are _so_ special, not only to me, but to anyone who's ever had the pleasure of knowing you. i wouldn't be where i am now without you. i wouldn't be skateboarding, i wouldn't have my best friend, i wouldn't… be happy if it wasn't for you."

reki's eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"i'm sorry everyone around you has made you feel less than. i'm sorry i didn't do anything about it… i'm sorry i may have contributed to it. but reki, it doesn't matter if you're as good as adam, or me, or whatever. your worth isn't defined by that. and i'm _never_ leaving you behind. _ever."_

"i'd just hold you back," reki whispered, looking down again. "langa i… i can't even think about my race with adam without feeling that same terror i did that night. there's no way i could ever catch up to you."

"you don't have to! don't you see that? there's nothing for you to catch up to."

"what do you-"

"skating is supposed to be fun, reki." reki's eyes widened. "you don't have to be as good as anyone. you just… have to have fun. and i think both of us forgot about that."

"langa…"

"reki, i don't want to skate without you by my side," langa declared. "there is no one more important to me than you."

"what about adam? and the tournament?"

"neither of those matter more to me than you, reki. i've thought it over this past week and declined the invite." reki's eyes widened.

"langa, you didn't have to do that for me!"

"but i did!" langa argued. "i made a promise, didn't i?"

reki stared, dumbfounded.

"i… i don't want to break my promise to you, reki. i _won't."_

reki looked down again. he sniffled.

"you're an idiot, y'know that?" langa smiled.

"you are too, y'know that?" reki let out a watery laugh.

"yeah… all this would've been a lot easier if i'd have just said what i was feeling, huh?"

"maybe," langa shrugged. "but… it seems to have worked out either way."

"i don't completely forgive you yet, asshole," reki looked up, pouting. "but… you're on the way there."

"that's all i need."

after hours of radio silence, reki's mom made move to check on the boys, only to smile at the scene before her.

reki and langa, cuddled up together, holding each other protectively.

she shut off the light, heading back to her room to rest.

her son was in good hands.

**Author's Note:**

> so !! i hope that was good :D i haven't written anything in a little while so it felt really good to finally do it again !!!
> 
> i quite like the way i handled this, n i like that the relationship is a more subtle type thing, y'know ?
> 
> anywayyy lemme know what you thought !!! comments are always appreciated !!!
> 
> have a good day !!! byebye !!!


End file.
